Sensibly, Scoop takes a more skeptical line in what is, all in all, not an embarrassing offering by his standards (which are, admittedly, lower than a Golota haymaker.) But what would Scoopwatch be without some cavils?
And yet, people are roaming the streets of the Chi not shy. Not even close to humble. Grown men who drive CTA buses and campaign for governors, grown women who work for CPS and agree with Oprah that Barack Obama should run for president, U of C kids at Jimmy's, UIC kids at Sweet Maple's, anyone at Starbucks and Target -- all acting like there aren't 12 more games to play. Acting like last year never happened.
I suppose Scoop thinks that he is painting a colorful portrait of his hometown, invoking telling local details to convey the breadth of Bears hysteria. The CTA, CPS, Oprah, Obama, U of C, UIC: Chicago icons all. I don't know the Second City too well, but I'll assume without looking them up that Jimmy's and Sweet Maple's are similarly well-known landmarks. But Starbucks? Target? Where do they come from, Scoop? Why end on two flat notes?
So the city can continue to overreact like Kim Etheredge. Or suicide is what it's setting itself up for. As of right now, right here, standing on the west side of Lake Michigan, it seems as if the cause is lost inside the emotions. We caught up.
I've said it before, and I know I'll say it again, but . . . Scoop, that's not English. "Or suicide is what it's setting itself up for"? Are you being paid by the word, Scoop? What would have been wrong with "It's setting itself up for suicide"? "We caught up"? Pretty sure there should be a verb in there. ". . . the cause is lost inside the emotions"? Do you even know what you are trying to say here, Scoop?
"We gone." Again with the verbs, Scoop. You know, the "action words."
"And this sums up how everyone in the city is basically feeling. Collectively."
If a junior high student turned in this tripe I'd expect him to fail. "[H]ow everyone in the city is ... feeling. Collectively." Here's a hint Scoop, part of that quote is either (a) redundant, or (b) redundant. And what, exactly, do you think "basically" adds to the sentence? Hmm? Basically nothing?
Why do Scoop's columns all sound like they were dictated extemporaneously by a character in a sneaker ad? Writing isn't just talking in print, Scoop. Please tell me someone mentioned that during your masters program.