Friday, September 08, 2006

"Clutchness has its anomaly": The Scoop Hall of Fame

So far, from the recent (read: free) ESPN archives, my favorite Scoopisms:

(On Big Papi) "Clutchness has its anomaly. And it's him."

"Bird had range, Mullin had range, Miller (aka: Reggie) had range." (I love, love, love the a.k.a)

(On how the U.S. basketball team's lack of a true 3-point threat may cost them) "Oh, my bad, yes it will -- it'll add up to an L."

(On T.O.'s new start in Dallas) "Here we go … been waiting for this for eight months, baby! The hate that hate produced, produced the wrong dude."

(On seeing Tiger on Sunday at the PGA Championship) "To know he was going to be wearing red. To know what that meant."

(On watching Tiger hit an 8-iron to ten feet) "But this was the shot I thanked God for allowing me to see. It was the one that would be insanely seared in my membrane, the one I told my sons about when I got home, the one I'll tell their kids about 20 years from now, the one that made me realize the true difference between a live experience and a plasma one."

Uh, Scoop, it was an 8-iron. To 10 feet. Tiger hits at least a couple of those every round.

I think I'm going to have to subscribe to Espn Insider just so I can read Scoop's archives and compile a definitive top ten list of Scoopisms (a.k.a. Jacksonisms).


Anonymous Corey said...

I share your complete lack of ... appreciation for Scoop's "literary" style. I have been thinking this for months, and have "hit him up" with more than a few emails requesting explanations of his sentences. I have written Page 2, requesting that he be fired, citing his lack of writing ability mianly, but also his incendiary and quite often nonsensical insertion of race into every point. I did subscribe to the Insider for Bill Simmons's archive, so that I could understand all of his jargon, and the ability to re-read Scoops manifesto is worth the 6 bucks a month. That, or God is. Punishing. Me.

3:12 PM  

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